Wow, that was quick. I could not believe how quick I got feedback and now I appeared on a very popular blog by John Clingan. It was very interesting to read John's comment as well as some other feedback.
Yes, I understand that some of the personal time you're investing is in order to gain more knowledge and experience. I have also done this various times, specifically in the days I were permanently employed. I also agree with doing this.
But one important piece of self discipline you have to practice, especially if you've got a family, is to not let them pay for it. I have seen so many people being very unhappy because of their unhappy family / personal lives.
I have seen men and fathers (not sure if mothers will do it) work very long hours and then still demand some time for themselves. They hardly ever see their children during the week, and then on Saturday they're on the golf course!
My attitude in life is that nothing in this world (other than God) is more important than my family. If I need to work overtime, invest some extra time in work, then my family should not be the ones paying for the investment. So I try to do this extra investment at night when everybody is in bed and if I had to be physically at work early evening, I get up earlier the next morning (my children are still very young and they always get up early!) and send at least 30 minutes - 1 hour with them.
This way I am sure that this very important aspect of my life gets its due priority. What I also found is just exactly how important this aspect is to my own sanity. What I figured out is that no matter what happens at work (good or bad) if I have a healthy family life, I can handle it.
I had some very good managers, I had some less professional managers, I had some good times at work (especially working for Sun Microsystems, don't even get me started on that) and some bad times at work (two companies went down the tubes, survived two company wide reduction in staff, etc.) One thing remained, I could always return to a happy home, a family that is happy to see me, a wonderful wife who helps to carry my burdens and worries and shares in my joys and happiness.
The reason I mention this is because I once got it wrong. I have seen so many people getting it wrong. Colleagues that spend too much time at work (mostly because of bad self-discipline) and then when things don't go that well at work, they can't handle it.
I have seen so many times, that people with a healthy and stable family live, tends to be able to handle a lot more stress at work. They tend to be more stable overall, not easily get caught up in office politics, etc. And most of all, they seem to be more productive, especially the self-disciplined ones.
At one programming job I had for example, I was a lot more productive than most of the young lads that used to spend about 12 hours a day at the office, because I knew there was no time for idle chit-chat, no unnecessary surfing and emailing (there were no blogs at that time).
During these times I also invested some of my time in learning new things (like C++, Java, etc.) Nowadays I work mostly on the hardware of Sun Microsystems and I also need to spend some time on them. But I always try to keep a balance. I always try to give back to my family, what my work took from them. I try to make some time for enjoying myself as well, but after my family got their time.
To summarize, I guess self-discipline is the answer. Work hard and dedicated at work, invest the necessary extra time, but get your priorities right. Don't harm the most useful relationships in your live for your career. Believe me, it is worth the while. If you don't have it, you cannot imagine the worth of a heavenly marriage / family live.
If you're single I guess you'll need to apply the above however it fits to your live.
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